Some days

 Some days are easier than others. The last few days have been hard physically and emotionally. My foot and lower leg swelling in the evenings are getting to be a real problem. I might wake up the next day normal but as the day goes on it gets worse no matter if I'm busy and on my feet or sitting here in the office doing tech work. I wish I could get an answer other than what my doctor is saying, it sounds so canned. 

Some days my shoulders hurt, other days its my left hip. These cold days are the worse. Makes you think of all the people that retired and went to warmer weather. It might happen for me if cold is an issue. 

Emotionally, I'm still not there. On those bad physical days it seems like the emotions just pile on. On days when its just emotional its like there is a brick wall in front of me stopping me from going where I'm suppose to. 

The craziest thing happened while I was writing this. I got two calls (didn't answer cause they were telemarketers but I checked the voicemail and cleared it. Then I got my Amazon order of Poppi. Wanted to try it out. I like that Strawberry Lemon. So now I'm in a better mood than when I started writing. 

Normally I would toss out this and either write nothing or try to start over. I think I need to stop doing that. I never have anyone understand who I am if I keep editing the story to cut out the bad parts. I guess its been my life. Its the reason people think I'm in a better position than I really am. 

I've always been that guy someone can rely on. Now that I need the help I don't have that same person that can drop everything and come help me. But my granny always taught me to be self-reliant. So partly I don't worry about it until things get really bad. 

I titled this some days, but that was before everything happened and my mood changed. Now I'm freely typing with now problem. Earlier I was struggling to think about what I was going to say. Its my up and down life. Its the life I lead on my own.